I am surprised by how much sex I have had in my life that I didn’t want to have. Not exactly what’s considered “real” rape, or “date” rape, although it is a kind of rape of the spirit - a dishonest portrayal or distortion of my own desire in order to appease another person.
I said yes because I felt it was too much trouble to say no. I said yes because I didn’t want to have to defend my “no,” qualify it, justify it - deserve it. I said yes because I thought I was so ugly and fat that I should just take sex every time it was offered, because who knew when it would be offered again. I said yes to partners I never wanted in the first place, because to say no at any point after saying yes for so long would make our entire relationship a lie, so I had to keep saying yes in order to keep the “no” I felt a secret. That is such a messed-up way to live, such an awful way to love.
So these days, I say yes only when I mean yes. It does require some vigilance on my part to make sure I don’t just go on sexual automatic pilot and let people do whatever. It forces me to be really honest with myself and others. It makes me remember that loving myself is also about protecting myself and defending my own borders. I say yes to me.❞
Margaret Cho, “Yes Means Yes” (via thewastedgeneration)
long distance relationships when they finally meet.
Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Partirò) (Preview) - Vampire Weekend
Hear Music/Concord Music Group will release the compilation Sweetheart 2014 featuring a bunch of artists doing a cover of old songs and Vampire Weekend is one of them.
Vampire Weekend’s version of “Time to Say Goodbye (Con te partirò),” made famous by the Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli, is another grand eccentricity. Calling it “one of the greatest love songs of all time,” front man Ezra Koenig attests, “Its beauty transcends language.” Vampire Weekend transform the “poperatic” mega-hit with a deft, old school electronic rhythm and ultra-romantic Italian vocals.
Sweetheart 2014 will be available on CD exclusively at Starbucks and all digital outlets beginning February 4th, 2014.
"…No you don’t know the one
who dreams of you at night,
and longs to kiss your lips,
and longs to hold you tight…”
Mange Adèle, Mange! (X)
3 finals down
2 to gooooooooooo
Women have to do so little to be declared “man haters”. All we have to do is name male violence for what it is. It is at this point the patriarchally minded step in and throw the “man hating” cliche into the mix. But in doing so, what men have done to women is forgotten, brushed under the carpet, ushered into the corner with candy with the hope it’ll be forgotten.
But for a man to be declared a “woman hater” he has to do so much more. Even when men abuse, rape, prostitute and kill women, they’re excused… His victim’s actions are looked for as if his hatred was a logical reaction to her own actions.
The liberals forget how ingrained woman hating is… from that moment a baby is killed for being female, to the child’s growth, through adulthood- womanhood is something to be despised, to be destroyed. Women are hated freely and easily. Men become the untouchables… we are not allowed to criticise them, lest we be labelled men haters.
But if all it takes to be labelled a man hater is to speak out unrelentlessly against male violence, to despise the violence done to my sisters, then I’ll wear that label… I’ll write it myself, and I’ll scream it from the rooftops. I’d rather be a man hater than stop addressing male violence for what it is.❞
Excellently put. If men can watch porn because they ‘love women’, but women can’t even say we hate our rapists, what the fuck are we learning about our interactions? What are we learning about men? And what does it all say about ‘the rules’?
Women’s anger is scary. They fear our withdrawal from their lives; we fear their participation in ours. (via thentheysaidburnher)
"He’s— he’s dead inside…"